June 17th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Your job is making you boring and mean
I don’t ordinarily have faith in Netflix’s recommendations after I suffered through 45 minutes of Visioneers before deciding to turn it off. (Spontaneous combustion was never so contrived.) Trust, however, directed by Hal Hartley? Well done, Netflix. Well. Done.
It’s not very difficult to understand why I’d like such a movie judging from this single screen cap. I am pretty disappointed that none of those outfits hanging on the display actually make their way into the protagonist Maria’s wardrobe, but the collared dress she sports throughout the latter part of the film is an important contributor to the narrative… I guess. (Read more…)
June 3rd, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Adios, guapa
Today in my television history class, we screened a telenovela called Alborada and let me be the first to tell you that shit’s crazy, y’all! Basically, it’s set in colonial Panama and Mexico, and this Creole dude named Don Luis flees to Santa Rita after escaping from jail. Calling him a “Mexican bandit,” this batshit matriarch named Adelaida has him tied up after he trespasses on her estate. She gives him two options before untying him: 1.) impregnate her daughter-in-law, Hipolita, because her husband is impotent and she desperately wants grandchildren or 2.) be turned over to the authorities. Don Luis decides that spending a night with a woman is better than spending another night in jail and agrees to pretend to be Hipolita’s husband if it means he can stick his p in her v. So he enters her dark room, kisses her so she’ll shut up, and–like an idiot–has a change of conscience immediately after she believes that she’s finally consummated her marriage. This time, Hipolita is tied up so that Don Luis can spill the frijoles without her making a commotion. She frantically cries about the fact that her “innocence” was taken away by a man that is not her husband and essentially everything goes to shit. She ends up pregnant with Luis’s child, her husband is accused of being “effeminate” (read: gay), and then I gave up trying to understand the numerous plot twists that happen after Luis successfully returns home. Apparently we were viewing an edited version specifically made for the DVD so I can’t even imagine whatever other bizarre side stories we were missing out on.
As someone who’s seen very little Spanish language television, I thought the lack of character development was really odd. I sat there wondering who the hell these people were, what they did for a living, and why their only concern was interpersonal relationships. I guess most television shows and movies work that way, in that we usually get the most details about character interactions as opposed to their larger aspirations / hobbies, but Alborada was primarily a gossipy shit show with hilariously low production values (along the same lines as an American soap opera aesthetic). With that being said, I think serial dramas are amazing and I suggest you watch some since Lost is over and Lost is a hybridized version of this genre (with religious undertones, I’ve been told?). I mean I’ve never seen an entire episode of Lost… I’ve always been more of a Degrassi fan, but I know it’s something I need to talk about if I want to be taken srsly on the internet.
May 22nd, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Saturday night…
May 16th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Life is bullshit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmm2GWYi8i0
Seriously.
April 13th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
How to determine if a film has enough female characters
- There are at least two named female characters
- who have a conversation
- about something other than men or a man
April 6th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
Algebraic!
“Adventure Time” is this super awesome animated TV show that I fell in love with via YouTube even before its premiere last night on Cartoon Network. The first episode originally aired on Nickelodeon and while I’m not sure why it didn’t get picked up by Nickelodeon, (subversiveness / absurdity shouldn’t be an issue for the same channel that aired “Ren and Stimpy”) Cartoon Network makes sense since Pendleton Ward (the creator) did storyboards for “The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack,” another show on CN that I know and love.
I mean, look at that fucking Rainacorn. Rainbows + unicorns? Genius. I love the character design, I love that Jake (the dog) is voiced by the same dude who does Bender’s voice (“Futurerama”), I love the adult references, I love “lumpy space” and its inhabitants’ valley girl accents, I love Finn’s hat, and, I suppose most importantly, I love being excited about an animated television show again.
Should I apologize for the mass of evaluative statements that comprise this post? I dunno. Whatever! It’s 2009, okay?! Seriously though. Mondays @ 8. Do it.
Adventure Time Wikipedia page, official website
February 23rd, 2010 at 9:58 pm
I just want to play checkers
January 7th, 2010 at 1:08 am
Pocohontar
I try to avoid posting things I’ve found on other blogs, but this is too hilarious. (Click for full-size.)
I enjoyed Avatar for its visual effects. Otherwise, I thought the writing was terrible and never ended up liking nor identifying with the protagonist and his blazingly shallow observations. Why the hell did the Navi have any reason to trust Jake Sully, anyway?
December 17th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
David Lynch is a Cute Old Man
There are a variety of adjectives one can use to describe David Lynch. My sister, for example, believes that he is “creepy.” My dad refers to him as “eccentric.” However, neither of these people are what you can call David Lynch experts. I, on the other hand, sitting atop the pinnacle of expertise of all things Lynchian, believe him to be a Cute Old Man.
Our Cute Old Man, David Lynch, has cultivated his career as an unconventional filmmaker through works such as Twin Peaks, an early 90s serial television drama about a murder in a small town, Eraserhead, a surrealist horror film most noted for its deformed amphibious baby, and Blue Velvet, an updated film noir about an average citizen delving into the seedier side of life. All of these works have one thing in common: they’re fucking weird. But the man is as cute as a southern kitten, I tell you!
September 29th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Moses suposes his toeses are roses
Oh dear, it seems that I’m already behind in a few of my classes due to lengthy reading assignments. I forgot how easily they creep up during the first week like when you finally notice a spider crawling up your arm after ignoring the telltale tickling sensation. Except instead of a spider, it’s a big freaking pile of dry analyses and instead of a ticking sensation, it’s a syllabus you shoved at the bottom of your backpack.
Once again, I am suffering a sporadic sleeping schedule. I could be like every other college student and claim insomnia, but I know that’s not hip anymore. Find me an insomniac who exercises proper time management or doesn’t live with a bunch of noisy teenagers, and then we’ll talk about how you’re a big fat liar.
Today I attended my first film class discussion section. We sat around a table and introduced ourselves by stating our favorite movies. I don’t have one, of course, and said that the last thing I rented from Netflix was Dark City. The person sitting next to me said that his favorite movie was Bruce Almighty, so I figured anything that came out of my superior mouth would sound better by comparison. These self-congratulatory sentiments distracted the Smart Part of my brain and I tripped over my words and explained that I liked Dark City because it was “strange and stuff”. Oops. Anyway, the rest of the class was devoted to analyzing the crap out of Singin’ in the Rain because we all know that audiences appreciate its complicated symbolism, provocative love story, and color parallels rather than its happy dance numbers. Buhhhhhh.