June 8th, 2010 at 10:18 am
Ich freu sich auf Sommer
Mmm so I’m pretty happy right now. I got my hardest final exam (German) out of the way yesterday at 8AM. I have two more tomorrow, but I’m not terribly worried as American television history is a subject I’m really familiar with and I’m allowed to accompany myself with two cheat sheets during my art history final exam (whaaat!). Notwithstanding, it’s clear to me that I set a ridiculous goal. Posting every day doesn’t make sense during finals week. Aha. Summer break is here in three days though! Seven-hour road trips aren’t fun but seeing my cat and eating ramen is. I’m planning to make an effort to see my friends in Los Angeles and do ‘Los Angeles things’ like go to overpriced cafes and eavesdrop on screenwriters. But I’m also looking forward to eventually coming back here… Santa Cruz feels more like home at this point. I dunnnnno. I just hope I can keep myself busybusybusy.
June 2nd, 2010 at 5:34 pm
The poses tend to be informed by a long visual history
Hey bitches. So I’m in class right now, can in hand, writing a BLOG POST because Michael Paradis snarkily suggested I do so. And oh shit! A man wearing a skirt just handed in an eval. A MAN WEARING A SKIRT! We are progressive in this art history class, we are.
Today we’re talking about “bodies out of bounds.” Judging by my professor’s enthusiasm for the subject, I’m going to assume it’s about body modification which is really just a fancy pants term for that stupid nautical star you got tattooed on your collar bone after the realization that a butterfly on your lower back would make you a “tramp.”
Nevermind, It appears that I’m incorrect. No, “body out of bounds” is a reading I was supposed to complete this week about fat acceptance. Well, shit. You’ve surprised me this time, teach. What you haven’t surprised me with is this asinine statement: “Vocabulary [in this article] is different than a lot of the essays we’ve read heretofore. Why might this be?” Heretofore? Faaaaaaacepalm. Oh, and she’s already messed up the author’s name despite having it on the powerpoint slide we’re staring at right now.
Hey. There’s a baby sitting in the first row? Hm.
I’m recording this lecture, bee tee dubs. Last year, I recorded all of my History of Life lectures because my professor would power through billions of years without giving us a lot of time to write it all down. Microsoft Word has this handy feature that allows you to record audio alongside your text document so that you can click on to bullet points and hear whatever was going on as you were writing. This time around, however, I’m using Audacity. Because this recording is for lulz sake. I mean, I guess I can explain my desire to record my professor’s voice by telling you that I forgot my notebook. AND YET reality invalidates this statement. I brought my computer in place of my notebook with the intention of recording her and writing a blog post.
Ahhh. Well. I’m sorry, mom. I’ll stop this ridiculousness. I’ll close this browser window and pay attention to the education that you’ve supported. I’m starting to think this whole institution is a load of bullshit, that it’s an institution that makes me feel so fucking inadequate and small and worthless by virtue of awarding those who so effortlessly “play the game.” I used to think that I was smart but the result of quantifying my intelligence tells me otherwise.
May 24th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
We won’t play nature to your culture
This is going to sound completely utterly wholly unconditionally atrociously pretentious, but I think I feel most comfortable articulating myself in writing. I feel rushed otherwise, trying to let as many words as I can escape my mouth before the other party loses interest and/or gets distracted with his own thoughts. I’m hastily pushing my own ideas forward as to prevent too many prejudgements, inevitably failing, qualifying statements with “or whatever… I don’t know, really.” On the other hand, I used to be the girl in various discussion sections who would make a concise statement and shy away from elaboration when prodded. I’ve remedied this, learned to explicate with confidence, knowing full well that classmates are just as doubtful of their own interpretations. Notwithstanding, I’m writing a blog entry instead of prioritizing my six-to-nine page essay on post-feminism as exemplified by “Murphy Brown” and “30 Rock.”
I’ve had this saved in my drafts for a few weeks now:
I want her
I want to stuff her
I want to stuff her box
I want to stuff her in a box
I don’t think it’s very clever, but I’d feel dishonest if I just kept it tucked away with various other files on my computer. Catharsis. Psychosis?
Speaking of which, in addition to exhausting the words “bonkers,” “palatable,” “supposebly [sic],” and “kind of,” my art history professor seems to correlate sexism with just plain sexy. Interestingly composed bodies are labeled violent, missing limbs are only a product of some sick desire to immobilize, and perky boobs are gravity-defying travesties, the result of distorted societal pressures to conform to unrealistic beauty standards. I’m probably being unjustifiably critical because I disagree with her obvious abhorrence for pornography and sex work. In addition, I will admit that I’m irritated by my forced contemplation on by what my definition of erotic is influenced. However, I will not find fault with specific naked forms if they are the opposite of biographical. I will not take issue with assorted forms of sexuality if they include a surrendering female, just as it would be ridiculous to discredit a woman as a feminist if she chooses to live as a homemaker. That is stupid, my professor’s scoffing at beautiful paintings is stupid, especially when she admits to conflicted feelings of her own in the form of a mumbled afterthought. I mean, she has every right to be conflicted since she has a concentration in fashion. Talk about an infuriating moralistic! :/
Anyway I guess I should open that Word document.
May 16th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Life is bullshit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmm2GWYi8i0
Seriously.
April 5th, 2010 at 11:26 am
Lurk a derka derka derka
My classes have been alright. Thankfully, I didn’t have to stay enrolled in Computer Literary because I snagged a spot in History of Television. It’s supposed to be a continuation of another class I took about television but it looks like we’re going over a lot of the same material. Oh well. I have the option of writing a film journal about Lady Gaga’s music video for “Telephone,” Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” The Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star,” or Network this week.
My mom deleted me from Facebook. I wonder how many other people can say the same thing?
I haven’t written in my journal for over a month. I guess I don’t need to convince myself of anything anymore. It’s refreshing. I don’t feel so crazy. Errrrrr bad-crazy. I will still have bubblegum parties in the lawless state of Arizona.
March 9th, 2010 at 10:04 am
I may not have had sex but I could fuck you up
I’ve been a little crazy with post deletion lately and for that, I apologize. Self-doubt and shit, y’all.
My life has been compulsive eating and sky rockets in flight and sizzurp and enrolling in classes that don’t actually have anything to do with my major. As it stands, I will be taking German 3, Nudity in the Western Tradition, and Computer Literacy for my spring quarter. That last one is a complete joke, but it was the only open class I could find that didn’t conflict with the film classes I’m trying to crash. When I told my older sister that I was taking Computer Literacy she said, “Sweet, reading the Internet!”
I’m not sure how I feel about this email I got this morning:
Dear UCSC residential students:
We have received reports of an individual (described below) approaching female students on campus, attempting to engage them in inappropriate sexually suggestive conversation, trying to find out where they live, and touching them inappropriately. He also attempts to gain entry to residential buildings and approach female students in their rooms.
We ask for all students to be vigilant in reporting this individual to campus police by calling 911 immediately upon seeing him. Campus police are aware of this matter as are the Community Safety officers. These staff, as well as residential staff in the colleges are also on the lookout for him.
Description: He is described as approximately 6 feet tall, African American, approximately 20 -25 years of age. He seems to be mentally challenged and this is evident upon talking with him. He was recently seen wearing khaki pants, brown loafers, a red white and blue striped, button down shirt and a navy beanie. He sometimes carries a large backpack.
In addition to calling 911 immediately upon seeing this individual, please remember the following safety precautions:
-Never let anyone unknown to you follow you into a secure residential facility
-Keep you room door locked
-Walk with friends at night
-Be aware of your surroundings and always report suspicious persons or situations to campus police.Thank you for your vigilance in this matter, and your assistance in keeping the campus safe.
I mean there are things I could say about it, but I’d rather let the text speak for itself because it’s fucking ridiculous.
February 2nd, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Undead undead undead
Here is what my current psychology professor looks like.
Today she told us that we wouldn’t have much time for sex because the break was coming up. You read that right and interpreted it wrong.
September 29th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Moses suposes his toeses are roses
Oh dear, it seems that I’m already behind in a few of my classes due to lengthy reading assignments. I forgot how easily they creep up during the first week like when you finally notice a spider crawling up your arm after ignoring the telltale tickling sensation. Except instead of a spider, it’s a big freaking pile of dry analyses and instead of a ticking sensation, it’s a syllabus you shoved at the bottom of your backpack.
Once again, I am suffering a sporadic sleeping schedule. I could be like every other college student and claim insomnia, but I know that’s not hip anymore. Find me an insomniac who exercises proper time management or doesn’t live with a bunch of noisy teenagers, and then we’ll talk about how you’re a big fat liar.
Today I attended my first film class discussion section. We sat around a table and introduced ourselves by stating our favorite movies. I don’t have one, of course, and said that the last thing I rented from Netflix was Dark City. The person sitting next to me said that his favorite movie was Bruce Almighty, so I figured anything that came out of my superior mouth would sound better by comparison. These self-congratulatory sentiments distracted the Smart Part of my brain and I tripped over my words and explained that I liked Dark City because it was “strange and stuff”. Oops. Anyway, the rest of the class was devoted to analyzing the crap out of Singin’ in the Rain because we all know that audiences appreciate its complicated symbolism, provocative love story, and color parallels rather than its happy dance numbers. Buhhhhhh.
September 28th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Trinken Sie bier?
My schedule this fall quarter leaves a lot to be desired. Namely, waking up after 8AM. Textbooks also cost over $400 this time, which certainly encourages me to sell them back towards the end of classes. However, I am already enjoying my German I class after only two sessions. My professor is adamant in reviewing everything we’ve learned before moving on, which is a huuuge plus. My Spanish teachers in high school had this nasty habit of teaching us terms, forgetting about them, and then testing us on them weeks later. This is not to say that my German class doesn’t make me feel like I’m still in high school though! The class size is fairly small and I’m pretty sure that it is comprised of a lot of freshmen. I asked my friend Margot if she thought our classmates were younger than us, to which she responded, “Well they have that deer-in-the-headlights look…”
It’s amusing to compare my time here to last year because the first day of classes as a freshman nearly gave me a heart attack. Now my friends and I act like we own the place, despite still being totally clueless about a lot of things.
September 24th, 2009 at 10:03 am
In which I unmask my true silver tongue
Living in the apartment has been pretty sweet thus far. Our refrigerator wasn’t working but the housing office replaced it with someone else’s (I think one of the CREs?), so it might be switched with one they ordered in the future. Whatevskis.
It’s taking me a while to get used to the loft bed though! I video chatted with Troy last night (cue someone asking me if we were naked [no]) and he cracked up when he saw me struggling to hop up on my mattress. Thankfully, I’m not the type of person to fall off of my bed. However, I do feel a little strange when I see my stuffed animals on the floor in the morning… it has everything to do with the fact that they have faces, I’m sure.
I guess I’m going to make a more concerted effort to write more entries, but this also means that they’ll get a bit more personal. I was getting a little annoyed with my overly optimistic posts. I suppose I was worried that my writing needed to appeal to every visitor? It also makes for some boring ass shit. In any case, I don’t know how to finish this sentence.
The whole place smells like bacon.